Thursday, January 26, 2012

Angry B!T#h

I'm sorry for the rude induction but I have no better way of describing what I'm going to say here.

First thing first, sorry for the lack of post, please don't hate me. I've been very busy and emo lately that's why I didn't and couldn't blog much this few weeks.

It's another fresh year to start in the Lunar calender. Happy Dragon Year to everyone and wish everyone Fatt Fatt Fatt! How's yours been?

As for me, family and friends gathering are well so far. Though I'm quite in an emo wave lately. I can't really pin point on my thoughts and it's quite frustrating.

I have a few New Year's Resolution I want to keep to myself and achieve them before publishing but there's just one that is very hard to keep. That is keeping grudges.

I have been keep grudges and try not to curse and stay cool at every point but I couldn't keep them long. Though it's really a good improvement. I have been keeping it since the beginning of the year and didn't blog and tweet about negetive and cursing stuff. I guess now is the time to release some of it. I feel that it's making me feel miserable and I have no where else to release it better than here.

I have different groups of friends who comes from all walks of life. I do get along with all of them and most of them remain very close to me. Question to myself lately is why do I seem that I don't belong anywhere? Who do I really am?

I project myself differently when I'm with a different group of friends. They always believe in who I projected to them but they never see the real me. Well, just a handful of them does. I have a strong lack of belongingness to anyone and anywhere. Is this humanity? Or is it just me?

Sometimes I doubt myself that I could easily fall into depression as a lot of people tells me I'm pessimist.

Being home is always a good thing for me. I could re-charge my energy level, take a step back and look at what I've done so far, reconnect with my roots. It's like meditation.

It's the only place I feel I can stand still and be really who I am. Seems peaceful to me.

I still feel mellow-ish but I'll be getting back on my feet really soon. Sort of in deep-hibernation-thoughts right now.

So, gonna keep this short because you probably don't even understand what I'm jabbering about, even I don't LOL

Nitez peeps!

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