Avril Lavigne 'Avril Lavigne'

I have always been a fan of Avril Lavigne from the very start. This self tittle album of hers is THE BEST of all! I love ❤❤❤ it! Of course, adding with the fact that this album is co-wrote with her hubby Chad Kroeger from Nickelback (also one of my favourite band). Awesomesause!

It seems she doesn't age at all and with her debut track from this ablum "Here's To Never Growing Up" fits her profile so well. She still freaking looks the same in her "Sk8er Boi" outfit in this video!

Thus, I have practically grew up with her and this songs just makes you not wanting to grow up.

Right after that, came the second single of the ablum "Rock N Roll". The songs prove that this pop rock princess can still rock, yeah! 

I love this video too, is the funniest video that she have been in. Especially the 'Bearshark' part LOL

Well, you can missed out on having a co-writer and not having to have a duet with them. "Let Me Go" features her hubby in this sad song. Can you feel the irony in it?


As I have said, I'm a big fan of Avril, I have been to 2 of her concerts when she came to Malaysia and rocked hard. I don't know why but every time a new album of hers launched, it always seems to be in a good timing.

Each of her albums speaks to me on a personal level. I'm sure this happens to everyone who loves music. Cos music touches everyone's emotions. Other than the fun and happier songs in this album like "17", "Sippin' on Sunshine", "Bitchin' Summer". The mature darker rebellious songs speaks to me more, for instance "Bad Girl" featuring Marilyn Manson! You can't get any dirtier with rock! I can't wait for the video. "Give You What You Like", "Hello Heartache", "Falling Fast" and "Hush Hush" shows that she hasn't lose her touch on more sentimental songs.


I really LOVE this album a lot! This is by far the best album she had produced! Well done, Avril!

A loyal fan ❤

Keeping the Tradition

I realized that every year I took pictures of CNY celebration but I never write a post about it. I also know it's April now but time really flies. I think I will be the last person in the world to talk about this year's CNY.

Every year, Grandpa likes to keep the CNY tradition by having lion dance. Every year, everyone with gather at Grandpa's place and chill. Catching up on each other's life. You know, older generations tend to have bigger families compare to now. So, everyone goes on with their life separately all around the world or even those who lives nearby hardly can have time to gather together.

It's like let's be busy but yet we still should keep in touch at least once a year. I really thinks having lion dance every year is a great thing to keep everyone close.

Oh ya, firecrackers are banned in our country but this year the government is nice enough to allow firecrackers during CNY for a few days!

To have firecrackers during CNY is such a perfect thing! I don't even remember the last time I enjoy lion dance this much without firecrackers LOL

Lion dance is great to watch because they always seem to mimic the ways of how a real lion behave.

See... they playfully trying to squeeze their way into this small entrance together.

It's good manners and good prosperous to let the lions say hi to the great great families. 

Again, trying to snatch the mandarin oranges and playing with them selfishly.

It's takes a lot of practice and effort to put on a lion dance show. 采青 'Picking the green' in mandarin means getting good luck in the start of the year.

This lion is really a naughty lion, trying to have a bite of the firecracker. It's always good to have double in the Chinese customs. So, double the firecracker this year too. One already light up from the start and another one to end the show.

The lion is trying to be mischief and up to no good? You just wait and see. 

Frighten and excited at the same time when the firecracker has lid up.

The aftermath... pretty!

Hmmm..... yummy, right? This is the BEST butter cake in the whole wide world! Only available annual by my grand aunt. I should really steal the recipe. OMG! Makes me hungry now!

CNY is always a time when I can rejuvenate and collect my thoughts, it's after all going back home the place I was born. Having everyone close at heart, it's feel very soulful.

How's your CNY? How do you celebrate?

Random MIA Updates

Oh wow! February has already slipped away from me this fast. I hope someone misses me in the blogsphere LOL... Kidding but really, nobody miss me?

Oh well, moving on. I was drown with work before, during and after Chinese New Year and with the festive around, I was busy catching up with family and friends. I didn't even rest that much during the holidays. Though it is very good to be home and spend really quality time with family and friends. I enjoyed my time being back at home.

I know I didn't blog last month and this month I start off with such boring entry but please do be patient. I do have lots to blog about. Is just that my blogging life can't really keep up with my real life. Sigh.

Another reason that I didn't blog much because it seems that my life is all over the place. I don't have any directions or goals to achieve this year compared to last year. It's like an pointless dead end. Last year I made really specific goals and I achieved most of them. Maybe because I'm tired of setting goals and trying very hard to achieve them? That my battery has run out? Or maybe I'm too hard on myself? But I can't be lay back this year, it will be wasted. I was having either blank thoughts or negative thoughts. That's why I didn't want to blog. I don't want to project negetivity out here.

I'm keeping my life back on track a bit now. So no worries but I still need goals or at least some direction to go through this year. Suggestions? It's late now, I just want to drop by and say hi. Till my next entry, nitez peeps!

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Angry B!T#h

I'm sorry for the rude induction but I have no better way of describing what I'm going to say here.

First thing first, sorry for the lack of post, please don't hate me. I've been very busy and emo lately that's why I didn't and couldn't blog much this few weeks.

It's another fresh year to start in the Lunar calender. Happy Dragon Year to everyone and wish everyone Fatt Fatt Fatt! How's yours been?

As for me, family and friends gathering are well so far. Though I'm quite in an emo wave lately. I can't really pin point on my thoughts and it's quite frustrating.

I have a few New Year's Resolution I want to keep to myself and achieve them before publishing but there's just one that is very hard to keep. That is keeping grudges.

I have been keep grudges and try not to curse and stay cool at every point but I couldn't keep them long. Though it's really a good improvement. I have been keeping it since the beginning of the year and didn't blog and tweet about negetive and cursing stuff. I guess now is the time to release some of it. I feel that it's making me feel miserable and I have no where else to release it better than here.

I have different groups of friends who comes from all walks of life. I do get along with all of them and most of them remain very close to me. Question to myself lately is why do I seem that I don't belong anywhere? Who do I really am?

I project myself differently when I'm with a different group of friends. They always believe in who I projected to them but they never see the real me. Well, just a handful of them does. I have a strong lack of belongingness to anyone and anywhere. Is this humanity? Or is it just me?

Sometimes I doubt myself that I could easily fall into depression as a lot of people tells me I'm pessimist.

Being home is always a good thing for me. I could re-charge my energy level, take a step back and look at what I've done so far, reconnect with my roots. It's like meditation.

It's the only place I feel I can stand still and be really who I am. Seems peaceful to me.

I still feel mellow-ish but I'll be getting back on my feet really soon. Sort of in deep-hibernation-thoughts right now.

So, gonna keep this short because you probably don't even understand what I'm jabbering about, even I don't LOL

Nitez peeps!

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Tak Nak

Do you ever feel curious when you see someone smoking? Everyone does, doesn't it? During my teens whenever I saw someone smoking, the first question that pops in my head is "Is it THAT cool to smoke?", the following question will be "How does it feel to suck in smelly smoke and puff it out and feel good about it?"

I guess every teenager will have these questions and those who smoke will think that they are cool too. In fact, it really isn't. ALL of it are excuses to have a puff.

I always wanted to have a puff of it when I'm around some of my smoker friends. Though I will force myself from having a try. You know what smokers always say, I can't stop after I try it. To be honest, I did tried ONCE! Just a puff?! *shameful* After that puff I will always say NO! #taknak

It's horrible! How could anyone do it! I admit my curiosity took over me but I will NEVER do it again! It really IS poison!

During my college years, I feel lucky that I only have a handful of smoker friends. That means that I'm not expose to second-hand smoke. Second-hand smoke is 2X the toxic that kills non-smokers! Imagine that you don't even smoke but you die because smokers smoke in front of you! *touchwood*

As I grew towards adulthood, my percentage of exposing to second-hand smoke increase. Either my co-workers are smokers or those I-can't-handle-the-so-call-stressful-society-I-need-to-smoke people are always around me.  

My handful of smoker friends has increase too, they do know that I don't smoke and they'll chose not to smoke in front of me or go far far far far far away from me to smoke. After they have smoke I still can smell the after smoke on them =.= What's the point, why not you just don't smoke when you are out with me? Most of all, I will tell them to quit. Smokers will also say "I'll quit soon" or "I'm quitting, I smoke lesser now" but yet you are still doing it! *urrggghhh* *excuses*

One thing I notice, the amount of ladies smoke has increase over the years. Especially office ladies, you will see them smoking during lunch or in between work breaks.

It's terrifying to know that ladies do smoke so often! How could they not think about their health and beauty? Everyone do know that smoking brings many types of cancer to smokers themselves and non-smokers. But they choose to be ignorant about it, ignoring the fact they know about what smoking may bring to their health and ignoring the disturbing graphical warnings printed on every single cigarette box.

Ladies smokers health are at a higher risk compare to male smokers. Ladies smokers is at higher risk in breast cancer and infertility. Fine, if you are not afraid of dying, what about beauty? You want to be ignorant about it too? Smoking makes your skin dry, you might have breakouts, yellow-ish teeth, hair loss? Tell me honestly that you don't care about you looks too?

My throat feel damn dry after a few hours of smoke exposure in clubs and my nose can hardly feel or smell anything correctly. How could yours be any different? I personally hate ignorance parents who smoke in front of their KIDS! OMG! How could they grow up healthy with you puffing tons of toxic into their lungs?!!!!

Alright, you might be wondering why am I blabbering on and on about smoking. WHY? Because smoking kills! Not just you, your loves ones too. Why are you so selfish that even you die you have to drag other people with you?!

The Ministry of Health is having a "Tak Nak" photography contest now. For more info check this out. You can get yourself some duit free for Xmas, New Year or even Chinese New Year!

What is duit free? Well, it's this contest cash prize!

• Grand Price cash-RM 1,000.00
• 2nd Price cash-RM 700.00
• 3rd Price cash-RM 500.00
• 4th Price cash-RM 300
• 5th Price cash-RM 150
• Consolation Price – Voucher Worth RM50.00

What are you waiting for? Say NO or Tak Nak to smoking and in the mean time get some cash to spend.

You may check out more health guide at gayahidupsihat.my

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My Lullaby

I was on enthusiasm mode and spent a totally of 3 hours doing NOTHING while listening to soothing songs before I go to bed last night. The feeling of just doing NOTHING and listening to your favourite songs is very Heavenly. I did had a great night sleep and woke up energetic. It's not everyday you get to do NOTHING.

Lifehouse - Everything

This song is one of my favourite songs from them. Been listening to this song for years already!

Maroon 5 - Never Gonna Leave This Bed (Acoustic Live)

When to their concern in KL this year, had a great time! I like their acoustic version better. Adam Levine just makes my dream sweeter ❤❤❤

Jason Mraz - Bella Luna

Makes you wanna stay in your bed the all day, right?

Simone White - Bunny In A Bunny Suit

I instantly fell in love with this song when I watch the beautiful Nicole Kidman's Omega Watch Commercial.

GORGEOUS! (Is Nicole! and the watch also la LOL!)

Kina Grannis - Valentine 

Her voice is soft and angelic and her music are very original.

Train - Marry Me

I personally think that this Marry Me song is the best Marry Me song!

Zee Avi - Bitter Heart

Truly a rare singer/song writer found LOCALLY! Yes! You heard me, she's from Malaysia! This song is from her previous album two years ago and now her new album Ghostbird is out! Go grab it!
Wanting to watch her Homecoming Tour at KL Live tonight but work has to be in the way. Anyway, check her out and support her! Support local artist! *Proud*

I challenge you to do NOTHING when you can, it really could rest and relax your mind and body.

Sweet Dreams peeps! Night! ❤

Food Poisoning IS Evil!

I had food poisoning last 2 Fridays ago and I'm on vacation to Singapore for the last 5 days, so is not me being a slacker on blogging.

Food poisoning was really a pain in the a$$ (literally!!!) The diarrhea, backache, gastric and fever all came at the same time.

I feel so torture and miserable! That was my "great" weekend! So "great" that I had another "off" day.

All I did was having trips to the toilet and just lying on the bed half dead.

Food? I would rather be on drips. I can't have anything liquid. What I have from my mouth went straight out of my behind. *I'm sorry that you lose your meal half way reading*

After being torture from the sickness for 3 days, I finally got a little strenght back to get going. Solid food started to be consume-able.

My body was still very weak. The rest of the week came by so slow. Went back to work. Realize that reality and materialism is really cruel. Nobody gives a shit about you.
Luckily, I got my vacation coming up. I was quite sad and body is still adjusting the recovery.

My journey to Singapore was very smooth and I got a lot of time to re-gather some thoughts.

I always like taking a bus rather than a plane to Singapore. My aunt always ask why don't I take a plane, is so much faster.

Yes, but isn't our life is moving at a fast pace too? I would rather take my time on my journey to rest, relax, re-gain my energy and thoughts.

Is good to have that kind of quality time just by yourself. At least for me, those time is precious and I get to slow things down and see how far I had gone and to re-think am I still on the right track.

Well, more on my trip soon.

Although, I'm in recovery mode from the evil food poisoning. I can't really enjoy my gourmet in Singapore.

I need to take pre-cautions on what am I putting into my mouth. It gets quite frustrating at times.

This trip, appetite wasn't my best friend. I can't take normal portions of food and try to have comfort food for my tummy and not to stress it again.

Recovery is still in progress but no worries, I'll get back my appetite real soon.

Note to self: do not feel too happy if you get treated with food that you will not be in your food list.

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Songs that are haunting me

I've been having shitty days from the past week till today and I just feel really miserable! That's why you didn't see any updated post. Sorry but when I feel really shitty, I tend to spend more alone time to replenish my soul and energy.

Most of the time, I will turn to music and it's music that feeds my soul to keep me alive!

I haven't been doing this for quite some time now, my last post for music is here.

These are some songs that keeps haunting me with beautiful voices and melodies. They keep me saint and alive from all the craziness and shit-y-ness in the world.

Holly Brook - Ordinary Tune

You might not know who is Holly Brook but I bet you know who is Skylar Grey from this ~~~

Dr. Dre - I Need A Doctor feat Eminem and Skylar Grey
Yes! Skylar Grey is Holly Brook and Holly Brook is Skylar Grey. Her voice is really unique and her music are all very dreamy-ish, like it takes you to another level of the world to temporary hides away all your troubles/worries.

Lady Gaga - You and I

Always has been a fan of hers! She's just too amazing! This time around her latest album - Born This Way is quite different from her previous albums. I like there's elements of Country and Classics merge with her style and make it current.

Rihanna - California King Bed

This song brings back her pure music style on how she started her career. This is one of the best favorite of her for me.

Neon Trees - Your Surrender
Latest favorite band! Loving all of them! Their Animal acoustic version is superb!

Neon Trees - Animal (acoustic version)

Shows that they can really sing! Discover this version today LOL!

The Script - Nothing

They have really good soppy-pop-soft-rock-songs. They gave me the feeling of how I discover my all time favorite band - Lifehouse! I guess The Script will be in my all time favorite list too.

2NE1 - Lonely

Been into Korean music lately. A lot Korean songs flooding my playlist, it's a daily must-dose to listen to.

Big Bang - Love Song

Need I say more? How could you leave out Big Bang in your playlist of Korean songs?!!! Can't wait for them to come to Malaysia for their performance! 안녕하세요빅뱅!!!!

I hope you all enjoy what I had here. Go feed your soul <3

Turning points of Life

I don't know about you guys but I sometimes have really good six sense on things. There's one time where I had those six sense feeling and it turns out to be one of the turning point of my life which by the way, had the most impact on me.

About 6 years back, I was on hold for my Diploma and I started my working life while continue pursuing my studies. I have finally gotten my Diploma and was so ready to quit my job and pursued for my Degree. I had a great sense that it will be a life changing of accounts flowing towards me.

What do you know, it really is the start of a turning point of my life. I started my first semester, met a bunch of true forever friends, broke up with my then bf, work really hard for my studies, met someone who had a great impact in my life, went abroad to UK, graduated and life was pretty much up hill and those few years was the best years I ever had and I got to share them with my friends and love ones.

I guess there's always ups and downs in life, for me now is not really up, I did gone through some bad stuff after going up hill but let's not talk bout it. Like they always says, "That's life!"

Anyways, this entry is not really much about me but is about a very dear friend of mine. I'm glad that I'm part of her turning point of her life.

Alicia and me ♥♥♥

My dearest friend, Alicia, she's always so intense in life, work, studies and there's always a lot of responsibility for her to carry. Surviving to go through life, it's wasn't that easy for her. Though, she's always been a very dear friend of mine, always been there for me.

There was a time where we couldn't keep in touch much but we still think of each other dearly. Last year, she told me she will be transferring to Singapore due to work. It's a big decision for her and it really is quite important and life changing for her.

Obviously, there's fear too, being able to cope with the new environment and of course lonely. I was quite worried about her too. I tried my best to kept her accompany as much as I can, thanks to the power of technology.

It wasn't long after she move to Singapore, I introduce some friends to her. That's when all the good stuff came in. She's happy with her job, was really happy with her newly made friends, got baptized, met some one she loved and loved her back.

She's so much happier now then the Alicia that I used to know. I'm really really really happy for her. I'm glad that things could work out for her after so much she had been through. I'm also glad and grateful that I'm given a chance to witness all these with her.

One more with Bread Talk and 2 strangers LOL

This is one of the turning points of Alicia and my life, what is yours?

PS: Alicia if you are reading this, you don't always have to thank me, you could not have done these if you didn't take the first step out (which is meeting my friends), it's all YOU, all the time. Love you and miss you much! ♥ ♥ ♥ Thanks for always been there for me.


PPS: Happy 1 year Anniversary in Singapore and wish you many more to come!

Be a voter!

There's a lot happening with the Bersih campaign and everything. I don't think I need more say on it. You can get updates and news in Facebook and Youtube.

Well, I'm very grateful to those who took the effort to show up on that day and voice out on behalf on those who can't. Felt ashamed that I didn't do as much as the others did. *sob sob*

I'm really proud of the UNITY that a true Malaysian should have shown during the rally. This is the real One ♥ . One Malaysia should be! Makes me go all teary when reading the news from different sources.

Therefore, not to waste those who took the effort and appreciate what they have done. Go register at your nearest post office as a voter and vote for this coming election. Every vote counts!

I have already register at the beginning of the year and my status is "received and in process". Which is taking damn long to be approved to be a voter. For those of you who haven't register yet! Please quickly go register as it really does take a long time to process! Go NOW! Don't miss the chance to vote!

For those of you who have already registered, you can check your status here.

26-26-06-2011

Yes! 26-06-2011 is the day finally my age catches up with my birth date! Yes! You are right! I'm that old!

Although for me I don't think I'm old. I just consider myself as MATURE ROFL!

It's true that when you were young you want to grow older the faster the better. When I was nearing my 20's I feel like I felt like I'm freaking damn old already.

When I'm almost nearing early mid-life-crisis. I totally want to freak myself out! When I was in my mid-life-crisis, I was quite emo-ish about my age.

For now, I already gave up on freaking out at my age and I won't stop figthing against aging. Why fight it when you can embrace every moment of it?

I really grew a lot for the last 2-3 years. Everything changes so fast! I can only sometimes pause awhile and breath. I learnt a lot too. Felt I'm no longer a kid anymore. Much responsiblity to be taken on and so on and so on. It may seem sucky to handle it but it's a pleasure too to be able to handle responsibility.

I love myself more and love my family and friends more.

This year's birthday was nothing I have plan about. It's been very warm and fill with surprises.

Had a lot of quality time with family. Had really few personal unexpected birthday wishes.

Of course what's a birthday without spoiling yourself on food and presents, right? LOL

Good night world! I had a warm, touching, sweet, happy and an enjoyable birthday.

I felt appreciate and cherish. Love everyone! <3

Happy birthday to me XD

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Blue week with an ending touch

FMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFML
These are the word that I want to scream out for the whole Damn week and there will be more to go.

I have already set my mind to not be so freaking negative all the time, I think this change of mind set has a limit. Felt like screaming out for help but was unable to even I were to scream out, I don't know who or what to scream out! It'a so frustrating but yet there's nothing to be done. Feel like going away but things won't be better anyhow.

Guess, being in situations like this is call FYL moments. It bloody helps you grow stronger, tougher and wiser. I definately did cry for moments like these but it's really is physical chemistry that is taking place. Your body is tired too and your mind. Crying is some what able to release the tension within.

Even though how tough things are. There will always be a bright side at the end. Or if it's not the end yet, at least by the end of the day. There's always something to light it up. Even the whole week sucks and I lost my last weekend. I also became anti-social (physically & virtually FML). I wasn't able to have some 'ME' time or even sleep! Wasn't able to update my Facebook (not to say I always do but when I want to I was not able to FML), blog and some what. Some how at some point of the rough day, there's just small things that able to lighten me up and I'm grateful for it.

Oh well, it's time to continue the nightmare.

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Something Borrowed

Tickets to Something Borrowed

 Yup! Got myself tickets to watch Something Borrowed! This time is a contest from MSN. Thank you very much for the movie! Without further ado, here's the trailer and synopsis.

Rachel (Ginnifer Goodwin) is a talented attorney at a top New York law firm, a generous and loyal friend, and, unhappily, still single-as her engaged best friend Darcy (Kate Hudson) is constantly reminding her. But after celebrating her 30th birthday, perpetual good girl Rachel unexpectedly ends up in the arms of the guy she's had a crush on since law school, Dex (Colin Egglesfield)...who just happens to be Darcy's fiancé. As one thing leads to another in the frantic weeks leading up to Darcy's wedding, Rachel finds herself in an impossible situation, caught between her treasured friendship with Darcy and the love of her life. Meanwhile, Ethan (John Krasinski), Rachel's constant confidante and sometimes conscience, is busy evading the affection of Darcy's hopelessly love-struck friend Claire (Ashley Williams) while harboring a secret crush of his own; and the charming and irrepressible Marcus (Steve Howey) has designs on Rachel that don't necessarily exclude any other woman who catches his eye. 
- Courtesy of Warner Bros -

 Colin Egglesfield is urber charming! He looks similiar to Tom Cruise but I would so prefer Colin more! I was totally suck by his charm in the movie! *Dreaming* Kate Hudson seem always acting such bitchy role just like in Bride Wars (with Anne Hathaway). Though she's a good actress with a humor, I like to watch her movies.

 Charming right? ~♥

 The movie is quite funny, with Ethan (John Krasinski) and Marcus (Steve Howey) characters in it. If these characters were not in the movie it would be just another boring love story. The storyline for this movie is well develop but the time frame for Rachel (Ginnifer Goodwin and Dex (Colin Egglesfield) to know they both actually love each other dragged a bit long. 

 Took them 6 years to realize... 

 Go watch how the movie ends. I do think the storyline do reflect to a lot us in reality. It's quite true that everyone have dilemma before marriage, after marriage or even about marriage itself. Who is the right one? Will the right one last forever? Do I really love the one I'm with now? Will the love last? What is love? and so on, so on. As the movie's quote " It's a line line between love and friendship", you do really do not know where does the love of your life come along and when. It might be the person that is always by your side. 

I do believe a statement made by Ethan's dad in the movie. "Is not always what we want and what we need to make decisions, is always what is right or wrong and our morality that stop us from making those decisions." It's totally so TRUE! So I do believe that decisions as such really need a lot of courage and support to make. Outsiders may think is wrong but for you is right, who is there to judge? who is there to define what is right and wrong? Is only ourselves that make decisions and by making decisions we need to accept the consequences that comes with it. It's called LIFE, agree? 

Now run along and go watch it, who knows? You may get the answer you want to know ;P    

Dreaming again...

It's sucks to have a day job! It stops you from being a kid, staying at your own zone and most of all stops you from dreaming. Well, to put it in better words ~ day dream.

I don't know about you guys but for me it did. It's like forcing me to be a responsible and robotic adult. Everything is so routine, so rush, there's always a deadline(FTS), blah, blah, blah!!!

I used to have a lot of dreams not unrealistic but achievable ones. Ever since I graduated and started working. Somehow I was being suck into this 'adulthood'. I sort of became like a robotic zombie and stop dreaming. Everything is very auto pilot and routine. I only can get relax by traveling. But tell me, how many leaves can you take off to go travel? Some companies won't even allow you to take 2 weeks straight off if you try to travel far. It's quite pointless.

Feeling FML most of the time, few close friends pull me back from going offshore. I kind of accepted what it is to be in the 'real' world. I still not quite dare to dream far. Until recently, I got really inspired and supported by some friends. I starting to have my dreams back. Not being afraid of what's going to stop me. Felt kind of silly thinking back that I stop dreaming. I'm so moving forward and try to achieve all my achievable dreams.

Wish me luck and support me ya ;) thank you very much ~ <3

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Complain, Defend, Suck it up?

Sometimes life is full of craps isn't it? do you choose to complain bout it? Defend it? or just mainly sucking it all up!?

Mostly people around me just knows how to complain, complain, complain, complain and complain. It's pretty annoying to me and when people does so, I just keep quiet and suck up the crap that they are complaining about. Ya, maybe you think I'm chickening up the crap but giving the situation some stuff are not even worth complaining about. Even if you complain about it, it won't change the situation, cos it already happened. Nobody will give a shit either on you or whatever that you complaining about. People will just hear blah blah blah and wine wain wain from you like a baby.

Sucking up every crap is bad either. It's like you don't give a damn on anything. It's pretty unhealthy too but at least people won't think that you are annoying right? For me is not, not giving a damn on things. It's pretty numb for me. For instance, the food you ordered is not the same as the picture they display in. Surely, is not the same, they advertise it good with good photography skill or good photoshop skill. What is there to complain? But of course it can't be too huge of the difference also. So just suck it up! It's not like someone murder your family so just STFU and eat your food!

As for defending, I think when situations like someone accuse you on something  you didn't do or someone accuse your beloved on something till you can't take it then only you defend. When you defend too much, people will think that you are too serious and can't take any jokes. It's very good to be able to defend yourself sometimes, cos if you STFU all the time, bullies will just continue bullying you know that you will just hide yourself away. When the right time (probably when you can't stand the bullying/critics anymore) comes to defend yourself, we all should and it will show others that we are not that easily being bullied.

For me complaining really is a big no no, sucking it up is just a plain I hack care but doesn't mean I don't know what is happening and defending is when there's a limit for your patience.

What about you guys? Are you the one who always complain? suck it up? or defending yourself?

Sleepwalker

I know, I know, Adam Lambert had came and gone and so does Paramore, but to fans that did went or did not when to both of these concerts are still having withdrawal symptoms. I can still remember how was I when I went to Avril's concert! The before and after withdrawal symptoms can last for quite sometime and all you gonna talk and listen to is about them! ROFL

Anyways, I really like this song a lot from Adam's album. It truly speak out how much you love that someone but yet could not yet any in return and you just hanging there wondering *stuck*. Sad and cruel but true.




I saw a picture of you
Hanging in an empty hallway
I heard a voice that I knew
And I couldn't walk away
It took me back to the end
Of everything
I tasted all
I tasted all the tears
again

Outside the rain's fallin' down
There's not a drop that hits me
Scream at the sky but no sound
Is leavin' my lips
It's like I can't even feel
After the way you touched me

I'm not asleep but I'm not awake

After the way you loved me

I can't turn this around

I keep running into walls that I can't break down

I said I just wander around

With my eyes wide shut because of you

I'm a sleepwalker walker walker
I'm a sleepwalker walker walker

Let me out of this dream

Everywhere that I go

I see another memory

And all the places we used to know

They're always there to haunt me

I walk around and I feel so lost and lonely

You're everything that I want

BUT YOU DON'T WANT ME!

I can't turn this around
I keep running into walls that I can't break down
I said I just wander around
With my eyes wide shut because of you
I'm a sleepwalker walker walker
I'm a sleepwalker walker walker

Let me out of this dream, dream
Let me out of this dream

I can't turn this around
I keep running into walls that I can't break down
I said I just wander around
With my eyes wide shut because of you
I'm a sleepwalker walker walker
I'm a sleepwalker walker walker
I'm a sleepwalker walker walker

I'm a sleepwalker walker walker

Let me out of this dream

- Zen -

Ever have that feeling that all you wanted to be is just to be at a place quietly alone and just be zen/me time/doze your mind/day dream? It's not just having alone time or quiet time is consider zen time right? or doing yoga or meditation is consider zen time right? I guess, just having a temporary time to just have a peace of your mind on your own is consider zen time. At least for me.

I used to feel zen when I was in the toilet because I feel that that's the one and only place where you have your very private moments. Like you would only sing when you are bathing, some people only able to read when their doing their "business", looking yourself most in the mirror, crying and of course being zen. Is like temporary locking yourself up away from the chaotic world and just have some peace with yourself and take big steps back, take big breaths and just pause.

Lately my zen time became when I'm driving alone. I will blast my radio and auto-pilot myself and just drive. Sometimes shout my heart out to sing along with the songs I know. It's dangerous I know but somehow I find it dangerously peaceful. But I will only do it in auto-pilot mode, so no worries.

I feel that is best that we sometimes do get some time to have some peaceful thoughts because this will keep us sane from the insanity out there when you try so hard to keep up or keep hold on it.

So tell me what and when is your zen time?

Recharge & Rebond

Went to Singapore for a long and short holiday weekend recently. I just wanted a relaxing short holiday to get a break from the hectic life that I'm having. Wanna break out from the somehow routine lifestyle that every working person have. Wanna break out from the circle that I am in. Wanna break out from the stress that I'm having. Wanna break out from the dysfunctional that I'm having. Wanna.... just wanna go there.

Even it was a long and short trip there, I made the full use of my time there. It was a busy trip too. Busy shopping and meeting up with friends and family. Took Air Asia flight there, the fare was farking cheap! Ok la, just the return fare was farking cheap, going there the fare just normal. Guess how much is the return ticket? Is freaking farking RM8!!!!!!!!!!!! How can so cheap one? Anyhow, bought and flew there with dad. :D

Reach there, it was already dinner time, went to Hyatt to have dinner with aunties and her friends. Had a great time, bonding with family. Tired went back to aunt's place and just crash. Woke up in the morning and it's shopping day! Just love to shop in Singapore, maybe felt bored with the choices I had I guess, somehow everything is the same here, even the cheap stuff. Or maybe I'm just choosy. Before damaging my wallet, had lunch with aunt, uncle and cousin bro, dim sum, nice! ;) After that, met up with StupidGang - Kai Kai for shopping. It's been quite some time we met, everyone is just busy with their own stuff nowadays. Kai Kai just transferred to Singapore for work. So miss her being there. We shopped at Far East Plaza, my fave place to shop! Went on shopping spree for 6 hours non-stop! Disappointingly, we didn't get much stuff. Damage was minimal.... but we had a great time. Really haven't spend this much time with her already. *miss ya* Later on, went to meet up with Stephy for late night session. It's been too long ever since we last met. We wanted to go to 2AM dessert bar, due to me hearing good reviews about it. But it was quite late and the waitress told us that it's already last call for ordering and just push us out. It wasn't a good treatment, making me doubt of going there again. Maybe next time. So, we went to 24 hours Swensens and chatted till morning! Poor gal, she still need to work the next day! But I love you babe! Thank for meeting up with me! *hugz*


The next day, had Japanese food for branch with aunt and family again. Rest at home for awhile. Then went to meet up with college friends at Plaza Singapore. Never been there before, didn't expect it was a nice mall too but there wasn't time to shop (will make it another place to shop next time, LOL), so just yam ca session with the whole bunch of friends. It was quite a big bunch! Thanks for taking the time off to meet up guys! Dinner time! Gathering for the whole family, meet up with other cousin bros at Marina Sands Hotel to have dinner! The food was fantastic at Imperial Treasure Fine Dinning! *slurp slurp* It's another one of the rare and precious moments for family gathering. A lot have been going on since everyone last gather, good re-bonding moments there. Wanted to check out the Sky Park but it was close! Damn! Next time again?! LOL Went to meet up some friends for late night yam ca session again. *Whew* Was late when arrive to meet them, but they were so sweet to wait me up. All of them need to work the next day too. So didn't get to chat too late.

Last day of the trip, when to have another shopping spree at ION. Didn't damage much too but got some lovely stuffs. Lunch with a nice friend then straight have yam ca session again with one of the best college friends I have known. Shop a bit more, dinner with aunt and cousin bro. Dad was being entertain by another aunt's friends. His has the superstar treatment during this trip. It was time to say goodbye again.

Goodbyes are always hard. It was a late flight back, reached back here already pass 12am. Happy Merdeka! Tired! Super tired! Already started to miss Singapore. I don't know why but I just wanted to stay longer this time. Guess didn't want to go back to the hectic and routine lifestyle. Anyways, I got my energy and spirit charged back. Have found a bit of new goals this time, cos I was clueless on my next goal to aim for. Had a really great great great time meeting up friends and family to re-bond those long non meeting and less and less of keeping in touch. Everything it's just splendid. Make me miss more~~~ *sob sob*

Miss miss miss~~~~ hope I can visit Singapore again within a short period of time. Haiz.... dysfunctional and routine lifestyle is back but this time, my attitude has change toward it!

Not Youth Anymore!

A month ago, a friend of mine was discussing about some telco plans. He sign up for a YOUTH package and introduce it to me, saying the package really save a lot. So, I go check out the link he sent to me and one of the conditions to sign for the package is being a YOUTH! *Thunder struck* I realize in two weeks time (then) I won't be a YOUTH anymore! FML I will be officially be label as an ADULT in two freaking weeks time! FML......

Everyone wants to grow older quickly when they were a kid and when we were adults we either want to stay at certain age or be a kid again. Ironic isn't it? We humans are like this all the time, living in irony. Anyway, I am now officially label as an ADULT now. Having real responsibilities, commitments and blah blah blah.... A friend of mine told me this:"Once you start acting your age, you will be the age that you projected." Which is true, I am now the official age of an adult but I don't really act my age. Compare to my younger years, I used to like to hang out with mature and elder friends. Cos I really like the maturity of them that I'm getting and in a sense I can learn to be an adult. But for the last two years, my crowd of friends had extended to younger age or same age of people. I was then realize that I miss out few years of my proper age stuff. I miss out on YOUTH stuff! Damnit! But mostly I missed out FUN!

I used to be a very serious person. I take everything into my responsibility. My shoulders of stones are pretty heavy that I made myself carried. Times passed and I slowly learn to let go of things and take certain things lightly. I learn not to stress myself out and learn to have more fun, enjoy life more. I mean life's really short so should make out of it more than ever!

Btw, I didn't have a cake and blowing candles for my bday this year, so it makes me not growing an year older? *evil grin* I want to stay at this age forever can? Anyhow, I don't really act my age anyway, people who first meet me will always think that I'm few years younger than my age. Maybe is my looks that gives out the younger me LOL

For people out there that are still YOUTH, here's some stuff that you should do before you got expired!
1.) Sign on telco YOUTH package! - I can't FML
2.) When go traveling, you can stay at YOUTH hostels for way way cheaper prices! - I can't FML x 2

But then come to think of, who says being an adult can't have fun? Adults can do a lot of fun stuff LEGALLY!  : P

Suppress = Numb?

I'm sure everyone of you have suppress your feelings for certain things or certain feelings. Hoping it will go away after sometime. But have you ever wonder did that suppressed feeling really go away? or already become numb? When it's numb, you will only be immune to that certain feelings. When the same feelings you come across again, you won't be able to fully feel it again. I probably sound like I'm just jabbering stuff, but you get what I mean right?

Let's break it down to what most of you could relate to - love. Don't really care what are the situations but it will just end up you being forbidden from loving that person. What most of you do? Give up? Still hope that you could with be that person in the mere future(somehow, people will always like to hang on to forbidden love cos what you can't end up with will always seems to be the best)? Whatever the answer is, in the mean time, you do have to suppress your feelings for that person, right? And as time pass, the feelings you suppress will just being push behind you day by day. Probably, will end up having numb feelings. It's funny that our brain/heart could block up those hurtful feelings to protect ourselves from being hurt again. Somehow, you kinda forgot what really happen but having to be a person with a zombie heart. (Same page with me yet?)

 When you have numb feelings, you tend to miss out on the coming love which probably will happen in the future. But your brain/heart blocks you from it. You probably would be able to truly feel how great of the love that the future lover is giving to you, right? You probably will end up with a empty heart which is full of loneliness. So my question is does most of you experience such? Does suppressing your feelings will end up to numbness? Will you suppress too much or too deep that somehow one day you'll EXPLODE?

Been pretty stress lately, that's why such *useless/boring* thoughts go through my head. I'm suppressing my pressure for work. It's kinda hard cos I end up getting very jumpy and having hard time sleeping. Another thing is that, I've been suppressing the true person that I am. I don't know why but maybe I'm too concern on what people think of me. I think I'm starting to have those perfectionist sickness. *need help* Though, I'm starting to let lose myself bit by bit. I probably will shock some (sort of, cos known for quite some time already) new friends of who I really am. I feel the evil/rebellious side of me is getting lose. Is it a good thing? *Being emo now*